Our Flaws Are What Make Us Special (Apparently)…
After my run in with the internet trolls on holiday last week (long story short, I have small boobs, this offended some males, they felt compelled to tell me, I had a rant about it, I still have small boobs, the world keeps turning… if you want to catch up, I posted about it on my instagram >> here) I took some time to reflect on how we’re constantly pressured by society to look a certain way, and if we don’t match a certain criteria we’re made to feel bad about it (that, or there’s always a Good Samaritan in your instagram DMs who takes it upon themselves to point it out for you).
But why should we all have to look the same? Imagine how boring things would be if we were all the same. Every single person on the planet is different, and every single person finds different things intriguing. ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ after all (Cliché number 1).
The older I get, the more I’m starting to realise that our flaws are actually what make us unique (Cliché number 2). In a world where we are constantly fed false images of beauty, it is near impossible to feel happy in your own skin… instead of embracing what we’ve been blessed with, we make unnecessary comparisons to other people – strengthening our own ‘flaws’ and diminishing our confidence.
Somewhere beneath my tough, witchy exterior, I’m a very sentimental person. I like to think that our flaws are the things that draw people to us. Therefore, I wanted to use this post to reiterate the fact that none of us are perfect. We all have flaws, but they shouldn’t always be a bad thing!
We are all flawless, not flaw-less.
I’m a Libra. By nature we are people pleasers, we don’t like confrontation, being the center of attention, or talking about our feelings (maybe that ones just me). So sitting down and writing about some of my flaws for people to read… isn’t exactly within my comfort zone.
But fuck it. The people pleaser in me wants to share some of my own flaws to benefit someone else, by (hopefully) demonstrating that we’re all fucked up in one way or another 🙂
… For some unknown reason in life, I’ve always strived to be the perfect person. Helping other people before myself, never raising my voice/ confronting people when I am angry (for small things I’m more than happy to get aggy tho)… I tend to adopt a very strong/ level-headed/ calm exterior… which is great, right??
Some of us are so scared of showing any signs of weakness that … we turn into a Witch, more or less.
Without delving too far into sentimental territory… we (I) have become so conscious of appearing flaw-less that it has actually become one of my main flaws. How are people going to be able to connect with us (me) if we (me) are not strong enough to show our weaknesses to someone?
I always hear people say things like, your weaknesses are what people fall in love with… so maybe we (I) need to not be afraid of showing them.
I know a lot of people can relate.
Growing up I HATED my freckles. I used to sit and watch music videos and wonder why I didn’t have porcelain skin like Britney and Madonna… why did I have to have these brown spots all over my face?
I found a make-up powder set in one of my Barbie packs… not sure why they were putting make-up products in little kids’ toys but anyway… I remember staring in the mirror crying whilst applying the powder all over my face.
I was only 8, and after apply the powder I thought I looked great. I walked downstairs into the kitchen and my mum looked at me horrified. The truth was, I felt beautiful for one of the first times in my life… I looked like the women on the telly (in reality I just looked like a ghost because the powder was SO pale).
I became addicted to wearing the powder, even when it came to going to school I tried to put it on, my mum tried to stop me but I couldn’t face going to school with my freckles on show.
Luckily it was just a phase. What I thought was beauty was just a load of airbrushing and effects.
I’m still not overly keen on my freckles… but by no means do I think that they make me any less beautiful. I kinda like the fact that not everyone has them :), and only special people get to see them properly because you can only see them when I’m not wearing makeup.
Funnily enough, internet trolls are not the first people to tease me about my boobs.
I’ll be honest, I’ve never 100% liked my boobs. I’ve always wanted a boob job – not to have bigger boobs, I just want really nice boobs!!
HOWEVER, I am not unhappy with them either. I have learnt to accept them, and to accept my own body.
My view is that, if someone isn’t attracted to you because ofyour boobs (or any other body part) then they weren’t right for you anyway.
I’ve said this before, and its my third cliché in this post which is way too much, but personality goes a whole lot further than appearance. Appearance of course plays a part in attraction, but in order to connect with people you have to offer more substance.
As I mentioned earlier, I don’t like being center of attention. And I’m not talking about social media or whatever because that’s fake attention…
I have a talent for playing down the things that I do. My mum always tells me the story about when I was in reception and finished my math’s questions before the rest of the class. Instead of putting my hand up to say I’d finished… I rubbed out all of my answers and started again – just so that I didn’t have to be called out in class.
I’ve been like it ever since. I never really talk about what i do for work, what i’ve accomplished up until this point… I’d rather just ask someone about themselves.
It’s definitely a flaw as I’ve passed up a lot of opportunities because of the fact that I didn’t want the attention… even starting this blog was a step for me because it’s just me doing it, no one else.
Being a Witch
One of my biggest flaws sometimes is being a witch (as much as I play up to it).
I try to show emotion but instead it comes out as some sort of spiteful child anger… you know like stroppy teenagers that never grew out of it… that’s me. Sometimes I just say nothing and ignore people instead of actually speaking my mind, which is always mature.
It’s something I get frustrated about, especially when it comes to my family because I fully have the intention of being grateful for the stuff my parents have done for me all of my life… but instead it comes out completely the opposite!
Basically… If I act witchy/ grumpy with you then it means I actually like you.
In some fucked up type of way 🙂
Obviously I have many more flaws, but I’ll keep the rest of them to myself for now.
It’s important to remember that everyone puts on a mask to get through the day. Society has taught us to be strong, to show no weakness because weakness is a bad thing. As a result, we all portray a fake persona to the outside world.
I’m not about to preach some groundbreaking solution as to how we can all be open and express ourselves fully… I just want people to recognize that it is okay to be un-perfect.
Your own imperfections are someone else’s view of perfection (Cliché number 4). If anyone makes you insignificant for not being their version of what perfect is… then they are not perfect for you!
Any questions, please get in contact.
Ciao for now – Elz, the Witch.