Why Men Love Bitches

“I’m just gonna focus on my work now…”

 You’ll have been living under a rock (or in a convent) for your entire adult life if you’ve gotten away without hearing the above phrase exit a female’s lips. It’s usually posed as a follow up to the universal “I’m over it” tag line.

Either way – aside from its literal meaning, the phrase represents a moment in time where, as females, we snap back into reality. Awaken from our prolonged daze of clouded judgment and enter back into the real world.

I generally feel as though females are far more head-strong than males. We have an alert mind, we can multitask, we are empathetic yet able to be assertive at the same time. If we didn’t have to endure childbirth and motherhood then we would make up the top percentage of senior management in the FTSE 100 – without a doubt (explains why companies like Apple started paying for women to freeze their eggs).

I read somewhere that love is a chemical reaction. When we catch feelings, chemicals are sent to our brain as an important message that gets stored into our core memory (I just looked that up before people think I’m chatting shit). Making them hard to get rid of/ reverse.

As females, when we catch feelings, everything goes to shit.

I have an exceptional talent in life at being very wise in my observations, vocal in my opinions and logically relatable in my advice… but at the same time practicing absolutely nothing of what I preach.

I started reading a book recently and so many females reached out to me asking me to write a post on it, so here we are. I’m gonna use quotes from the book as I go along – so credit goes to the author.

As I said, women are head strong until feelings get involved. Think of those days where you’ve completely lost your head over a guy. You are consumed with illogical thoughts and usually end up acting like an idiot… this book is perfect in speaking so much sense that you forget why you were even pissed off in the first place.

As women we should be less concerned about pleasing the opposite sex and more focused on ourselves. A man should be a pleasant extension onto our already renovated 10-bed mansion… not the entire house (what a great cringe metaphor that I just made up).

So please – if you’ve ever been hurt/ disrespected by a guy then enjoy reading this post – and go grab a copy of the book and change your life.

Someone on my snapchat tried to call me a feminist for writing this – have a day off.

Why Men Love Bitches

 This book, by Sherry Argov, elaborates on the concept of why ‘Men Love Bitches’… a ‘bitch’ being a woman who carries herself with a degree of mystery, self-worth, independence, femininity and most importantly – doesn’t compromise herself, or any aspect of her life, for a man.

Easier fuckin said then done love…

 

  1. Don’t Compromise Yourself

“The nice girl gives away too much of herself when pleasing him regularly becomes more important than pleasing herself”

 We always have that one person that consumes our feelings at any one point in time. And as much as our friends/ family force all these extremely valid opinions into our minds – we nod and agree at how much sense they’re talking, and then completely disregard them in exchange for our own fucked up reasoning as to why they should stick around. Which is always completely wrong.

In her book, Argov talks about how men love the chase… but once whatever they are chasing becomes too easily ‘catchable’, they lose interest. For some reason females feel the need to compromise parts of their life for men – we will skip gym/ stand up our friends/ lose sleep making time to see a guy – and for what?

We do all this and then expect them to fill the time that we’ve just freed up for them, and when they don’t we get pissed off.

Often enough, the reason a man is initially attracted to us is because we are independent. We have our own life, our own friends, our own hobbies – and so do they. You don’t catch a guy passing up a chance to see his boys/ go play football/ go for drinks – so why the hell do we do it!?

“Most women are starving to receive something from a man that they need to give to themselves.”

 We need to make sure that we’re where we want to be in our own lives before allowing someone into ours. The book makes a legit point that when we have our own shit going on and are content in our lives, we don’t depend on a man to complete us – if he was to leave then it wouldn’t phase us – which men respect more.

A man feels he’s won, or conquered a woman, when she eats out of the palm of his hand. At which point, he will get bored”.

  1. You’re Never Too Good

The women who have men climbing off the walls are often not the exceptional ones. They are the ones who don’t appear to care that much”

 This topic actually makes me laugh because the amount of times me and my friends have used the phrase ‘I think it’s cause we are so independent, it must intimidate guys’ to justify the fact that we are all single, is beyond me.

We always see people in content, happy relationships and compare ourselves to them like… well why can’t that be me, I can do that and I’d be better at it – look at me and everything that I’ve done. Well bitch, there is obviously something you aren’t doing.

I want to word this without sounding harsh/ like an idiot… but I’ve overheard people having the same conversation so don’t send for me. Girls often look at (what they would perceive to be, whatever that may be) an average couple/ someone’s ex and think ‘why are they with her? Look at her’. I see all these memes about you vs. his ex/ his new girl… and I think to myself – this is where we need to humble ourselves sometimes – so what if someone’s not as good looking as you/ has a smaller bum/ has less followers on instagram or whatever… they’re obviously fulfilling some sort of void that you can’t.

As women we always think about what a guy has to offer… can they fulfill our criteria. This is where a lot of us go wrong because we forget to consider what we have to offer in return. If a guy ticks all of your boxes – great, have a gold medal. You can find the perfect guy, but you might not be what he wants.

If you have little to offer in return other than the fact that you are good looking (just an example) then you will only hold a mans attention for one thing. Your substance is what attracts people to you as a person and if you haven’t figured that part out then stop using excuses to justify why someone doesn’t want you.

“Regardless of how pretty a woman is, looks alone will not sustain his respect. Appearance may pull him in, but it is your independence that will keep him turned on”

  1. Respect

 What a mythical concept.

Truly powerful people don’t explain why they want respect. They simply don’t engage in someone who doesn’t give it to them”

 My favourite chapter of the book is chapter 2. In short, it explains all about why men like a chase, and why they lose interest based on your accessibility. It even gives scenarios which are great, especially when you can relate to every single one of them -_-.

All sarcasm aside, it does make you realise the important role that self-respect plays in how someone views you.

I feel as though respect is a reward of self-respect. It’s very easy to lose self-respect when you like someone without necessarily realising it.

To be honest, this section is a whole load of bullshit exiting my brain because it’s like the pot calling the kettle black. If only this were as easily done as it was said – then a whole load of shit would get bypassed.

Act like a prize and you’ll turn him into a believer”

 Have you ever noticed that when you don’t like a guy and you repeatedly turn him down – he is only more interested in you? Because you are a challenge and he wants the prize. Whereas when you like sometime you are kinder and more responsive – and in the fucked up world we live in this has the opposite affect.

What is the worth of a prize when you didn’t have much of a challenge to obtain it? It probably gets dashed at the back of the cupboard somewhere and forgotten about.

We all have so much to offer in our own way, why should we allow someone to come into out lives and completely dis-regard our worth? The phrase ‘anyone would be lucky to have you’ pisses me off… oh yeah would they? Then why can’t I get a text back, a fuckin text back – you know.

We need to stop focusing on ‘what if’ and accepting that if someone doesn’t show us respect – then bye hun.

 “If the choice is between her dignity and having a relationship, the bitch will prioritise her dignity above all else.”

 Any questions on this post then please get in contact  

Ciao for now -Elz, the Witch

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 thoughts on “Why Men Love Bitches

  1. Omg love this! I was literally only thinking to myself earlier why is it that all the crazy b*tches get the man?! now I know it’s cause I’m too nice and bend over backwards for a guy I like.. defo getting this book now 😄Thank you x

  2. I just wanted to say that I’m at a time in my life where this post really inspired and touched me! I became this girl and use to resent other females that didn’t know their worth.
    Just from reading this iv been brought back to life!
    Thank u xx

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