My Fake Tan Routine

Tanning Regime for People with Pale Skin

I think I was 13 when I first used Fake Tan. I bought a pack of tanning wipes from Poundland one weekend, and tactically waited until the night before Wednesday Double Games to use them. Because I was at boarding school I had the added luxury of not having to ask my parent’s permission before experimenting with tan at a young age.

I applied the wipes in the evening onto my legs, nervous to see what would happen. Luckily I woke up the next morning with beautifully sun-kissed legs, ready to parade them around in my gym shorts during Games.

…….. JOKE!!

The full extent of the damage caused by said Poundland fake tan wipes was not fully appreciated until I strolled out into the sports hall in my gym shorts. We sat down in a circle and the games teacher (who didn’t like me anyway) looked down at my legs with a look of pure horror… prompting every other girl in the class to also point at my Wotsit coloured legs and laugh. What made it look even worse was the fact that the rest of my body, including my face and arms, were pale as a ghost….. Except the palms of my hands though, nope, they were equally as disastrous.

That being said, even though my legs looked like some sort of orange tie-dye attempt, only one thing mattered… I wasn’t pale. I always felt self-conscious of my pale skin, and I still do. Most girls can back me up when I say that when you have a nice tan you feel so much better about your body.

Anyway, I’ve spent the past 12 years perfecting my tanning regime, and it’s not been smooth sailing. I cannot emphasise enough the countless tanning fuck ups I’ve had, including numerous bed sheets and towels ruined in my journey to greatness. RIP to all the white items of clothing I’ve only been able to wear once, and the carpets that have been stained (my mum had to lay down a piece of sample carpet in my room where I was allowed to stand and fake tan lol). All of my trials and tribulations have lead me to this moment, and here I stand – a spokesperson for all pale people, to share my story.

Well not a story, it’s just what I use to make myself look tanned… so here you go:

Step 1 – Exfoliate:

I exfoliate once a week. Fake Tan tends to get a bit old after about 5/6 days, and crumbles off. So I exfoliate, usually on a Wednesday evening, leaving my skin fresh and ready for a new layer of fake tan 🙂 .

I exfoliate using the Soap & Glory Exfoliating Gloves – They are £4.50 from Boots. I use the Soap & Glory ones because they take my tan off better than the standard exfoliating gloves.


I have either a shower or bath and exfoliate my whole body until the tan has come off. Happy days. Don’t exfoliate if you’ve just shaved your legs because it will irritate them.

Step 2 –Fake Tan:

I always apply some sort of oil/ moisturiser (doesn’t matter which one) to my elbows, armpits and knees (as these are the areas that tan tends to stick to, and also the areas that it wears off first – so by moisturising it helps prolong the tan 🙂 ).

The tan that I use is the Solait Tinted Body Lotion from Superdrug, in the Dark shade – It costs about £4.50. I use the darkest shade because my skin doesn’t really take to fake tan too easily.


I’ve used Solait since I was 18 and it’s by far the best tan that I’ve used. It’s affordable, but does more or less the same job as the more expensive brands like Fake Bake or St. Tropez. It’s a cream tan, which I prefer as you have more control over the application. I apply this 2/3 nights a week, sleeping with the tan on and washing it off in the morning.

Step 3 – Application:

I’ve recently started using a new type of tanning mitt, from Bronzie (their Instagram is @Bronzieuk), it’s called the ‘Got Your Back’ mitt and is £14.99 but 100% worth it.

Long gone are the days where you need to ask your friend to tan your back for you! The gloves (they look a bit like oven gloves) make it so easy to apply your tan to your whole body. Also, the material is velour, which feels amazing on your skin and actually makes the tan go on better (I always find that normal tanning mitts are a bit harsh on my skin as it’s sensitive).

Bronzie Mitt


Also, I know I’m not the only one that is fed up of wearing baggy, old clothes after applying fake tan :/ . If you look on Bronzie’s site they have designed an after tanning suit which helps develop your tan after application, and it looks good too.

Step 4 – Before a Night Out

**Key Step**

Sally Hanson – Airbrush Legs – This literally changed my life. I use it before a night out, and apply it to my whole body except my face. It’s an instant tan but is more like a foundation, and it lasts for more than one wash unlike other instant tans.

It’s amazing because it covers up any uneven tan/ blemishes. It’s just great.

Sally Hanson

I’ve included a few pictures I’ve dug out of my fake tan fail archives – enjoy at my expense!

Any questions please contact me 🙂

Ciao for now – Elz, the Witch.